Largest amount of swag I have ever witnessed
never has one cat had more swag
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Anonymous said: Is it hard having your gf so far away?
Well if we are talking about long distance relationships, then yes very. If we are talking about vacation, then I’ll miss her but she’s coming back so I’ll live.
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I am conflicted, with my scientific responsibility. Science progresses at a very fast pace, but in a dull process. Fast because of dedication, not intellect or ingeniuty. Reading countless multiple papers, bringing them all together, surmmizing a new theory, process or idea. This takes time and dedication, sacrifice. I want a life too though, a wife, and kids. But I want to make a significant impact as well, but how can one achieve both. There is a second way, through ingeniuty. Through properly understanding anomlies, and coming up new ways to tackle them, not because other people have attempted to tackle them that way before, but because thats what makes sense. It is a combination of the 2 that makes a successful scientist, for you cannot do the latter without the former. You cannot come up with ways of tackling problems if you do not fully understand the problem.
I have a responsibility, of understanding how the world works, discovering its secrets. But, I also have a desire, a dream, to live the ordinary life. But then… how can one be ordinary but extroadinary at the same time. Its a complete paradox. And I think… that is my quest in life, not the one I chose, not even the one I want, but the one I will get. Due to my indeciveness. I will end up pursuing and dedicating my life to finding that balance of being a great scientist and having an ordinary life and family.
And well… maybe I’ll fail in my endeavors for both, maybe in attempting both, I will fail both. My family will suffer from my dedication to science, and my science will suffer for my attempts to fix this imbalance. Maybe I will lose both, my family will crack and I will fail to produce anything scientifically. Maybe
my the bar is too high….. for me.
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My life recently, has taken a huge turn. In regards to drugs, well I dont really have time for them anymore. I’m not able to release becuz, i simply don’t have time. The different amount of drugs I’d like to do, the times I’d like to just let it all go, to just have a little fun, but I can’t. The random adventures I’d have, have all but ended. I used to hang out with friends everyday, now once a week is a luxury.
But, no matter how busy I am and stressed I am, all this tension, I’m ok with it. It gives me reason, it gives me purpose, a drive. I’m fighting, for something I love. For a greater purpose. Every hour I spend “busy”, I’m actually doing something. Drugs and fun, they don’t progress me foward, I mean they do, in a mental/philosophical way, but not in a literal way. They don’t help me advance in my situations. Friends and adventures are great to unwind, but they again they don’t make me progress. Everyday I discover more, everyday, everything I do, it has a purpose. The purpose of progress. Progress of myself, my knowledge, my curiosity, and this is my drive. It gives me something to live for. I’m always climbing higher and higher. Right now is the hardest part of the climb, the roughest terrain, but soon, i will reach the plateau, and it’ll be smoother sailing from there.
And that’s the beauty of it all, I strive hard now so I can live easy. Live happy. So I can live for something meaningful and purposeful, something I can justify and reason and live with. And that’s the problem with a lot of people, they get depressed, becuz many people can’t justify their lives. They can’t justify what they do and why, or if they can, they rnt satisfied with the justification.
Finally, its all about the final goal. I was blinded initially, I thought this was the only time for such adventures and thoughts. For such freedom, to be able to have fun. But no, in fact this is the worst time, if I can just pull a little bit further, then my fun can be expanded exponentially. I now have the true freedom to be able to do what I want, with me financially secured, mentally/educationally stable, and with a bright future, then I can party, then i can enjoy life. Analogy- Imagine that you’re very hungry, and the meal u want is cooking, the impatient person will eat the food before its fully cooked, yes it will fill u up and it may even taste good, but the one that is patient, will wait till it is fully cooked, and only then will they taste the true flavor and splendor of the food, its true potential.
Anonymous said: You're cute. I want your babies.
But I don’t want any babies!!!
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I realize now, that my one true place, to put my thoughts, is no longer safe. With no connections, I cared not who would see or what would happen. Mostly thoughts of people who cared but couldn’t see them. But now, thoughts of those I do care for, have access to these thoughts; these feelings and emotions. No longer can I banter/rant on about my thoughts of such individuals; for if I do, they will proceed with a response. Some thoughts are best left unsaid, to specific persons, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be said at all. And that’s what this is at the end of the day, thoughts that may necessarily not have been said, but nevertheless will be stated.
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This is why I call them stupid, why I don’t express my feelings. They’re stupid and never result in anything positive. Everything has its harmonic beautiful ways, everything is perfect and flows wonderfully. But then, i have to put my own feelings in the equation and fuck it all up.
I have recently been lacking self control over my emotions. Becoming somewhat of a crybaby. I need to regain control again and get a stronger grip over my feelings.
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There are nights, when I’m just sad and depressed. And I don’t really know why.
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